Giddy up, doggie!

In my Granny's last few years, she started giving away her most precious things to those she loved. She couldn't stand the thought of someone getting their hands on something she didn't want them to have. And I have to laugh when she told me she wanted me to have certain things because she said my father and his two siblings wouldn't treasure them or give them good care. Anyway, since her passing, this same conversation has come about a few times with my grandfather. They have SO many cool things in their house. Some things are just downright beautiful (like my grandmother's jewelry and my grandfather's guns). Other things are simply sentimental. They hold such a dear place in my heart.

I would give my left arm to get copies of all the home movies my grandfather has on VHS. They are video recordings of years and years of holiday gatherings - Easter, Christmas, birthday celebrations, etc. I don't ever get tired of watching them. It is so funny to see myself as a little girl and my relatives when they were much younger. That is how I best like to remember my family.

Back then, my Granny was alive and the matriarch of our family. She kept us all alive, connected, and thriving. Under her leadership, love conquered all. Problems surfaced, but they never destroyed us. She wouldn't let it. The Barksdales are a tough clan (always have been and always will be), but when Granny was alive, we behaved ourselves. Now, well, my family is almost unrecognizable. It is so sad. And I have no doubt that my Granny would want to "spank all of our brownies". ;) BUT that is just how it is. We still care about each other. Now that she's gone, we just be ourselves - 100%. I have no idea how we all bit our tongues and kept a smile painted on our faces for so many years. I guess you do what you have to do. I bet everyone would admit they did it for Gran. I know I did.

Okay, so back to my point: I want those VHS recordings of my family when my Granny was alive. But I am not counting on getting them. Certain family members will request certain things simply because others want them (even though they don't give a flying flip about them). Something else that is very sentimental to me is this ceramic dog that sat on my grandparents' hearth. It is the saddest dog I've ever seen. But I loved him. My grandfather would set me on him when I was a baby. We have a few snapshots of that somewhere. I was so young when he started doing it that there was an arm extending in the photo supporting me. Then, I got hooked. I'd always ask to ride the dog. I don't remember exactly how old I was when I stopped riding the poor guy. All I know is that I got so big that my grandfather started taking him off the hearth and putting him on the carpeted floor. Maybe he feared the dog might crumble, I'd fall, hit my head on the hearth, and then fall onto the floor...I don't know. Or maybe I was a ballsy fearless dog rider! ;)

I told my grandfather how much the dog means to me, and he had it sent to me right away. About a year or so ago, my mom's companion on her way back to Texas from Louisiana was my ceramic dog! I was so excited to welcome him into our family. The dogs were definitely unsure of him though. :) I set him in our living room next to our TV. He didn't look as good in our house as he did in my grandparents' house. That's for sure. But at our house, there is so much activity. Our house is lively - TO SAY THE LEAST. ;) My grandparents's house has become so still, quiet, and stale. No one goes over to visit anymore. That poor dog was just victim to the abuse my grandparents' do to each other. I knew that in just a matter of months, he would have a new rider! A few days ago, I set Grayson on the old dog for a few photos. My Paw-Paw had been requesting them since we got the dog - way before Grayson was even trying to sit up. ;) When he received the shots of Grayson on the dog that I once rode, he was so excited. He said he looks as if he's saying "Look at me! I'm the champ!" :)






I just haven't yet had the heart to tell our old, sad friend that I fear Grayson will be a much rougher rider than I was! ;)