DEVASTATING.

When Grayson and I were out and about today, we saw something devastating – just heartbreaking. As we were walking on the sidewalk in front of a store, we saw a grandmother walking with her grandson across the parking lot (from the store). She was yelling at him. I have no idea what she was saying. She was speaking a foreign language. I felt so sorry for the little boy. His grandmother was YELLING at him. The entire parking lot heard her. It was obvious she was very angry with him. Maybe he did something he shouldn’t have. I have no idea. But I tell you one thing: There’s no way a 4 year old child (my guess on his age) could’ve done something so bad to warrant her yelling at him like that.
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She yelled at him as she walked to her car, unlocked the doors, put the shopping bag in the car, etc. It seemed to last an eternity. I know he was thinking the same thing. He looked so embarrassed and beat down to nothing. It wasn’t like he was arguing back or being disrespectful. Kids do that sometimes ya know? Nope. This kid just stood there in shock as his grandmother yelled at him. Unfortunately, it was quite a walk to our destination (a few stores down). So we heard and saw this drama for a while.
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I couldn’t help but wonder if “Grandma” was the little boy’s caretaker for the day or if she is his caretaker every day. I hope it was just for the day. Regardless, I don’t think he will forget today and how his grandmother treated him. Maybe his parents are okay with the grandmother treating their child like that. Some people are sick. But maybe they have no idea the grandmother is such a witch and is abusing their child. Physical abuse is bad, but I tell ya, what she was doing to him was 100% without a doubt mental abuse = EMOTIONAL ANGUISH. I am in hopes that the little boy finds the courage to tell his parents how his grandmother treated him. But by the looks of him (so scared and hunched over), I don’t know if he will. He might fear getting in more trouble. Poor baby.
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Believe it or not, Gray and I went in the store, strolled 5 or 10 minutes, came out, and saw them still sitting in the car. I guess she decided she wanted to yell at him some more while he was strapped in his car seat and had no choice but to be tortured by her. When we passed, I saw her dialing on her cell phone. Maybe she was calling someone to tell them how horrible her grandson was. What she should’ve been doing is calling a crisis hotline to get some help. Apparently, she cannot handle caring for a child. That mean old woman kinda reminded me of my grandmother – the one that recently died and I’m sure took so many regrets to her grave.
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When I see something like this, it really bothers me. It always has. But needless to say, since I now a parent myself, it really affects me. Caring for a child isn’t easy. It can be quite challenging at times. One thing you must always try to have is PATIENCE. When I feel mine is short, I ask for Ray’s help…and he does the same. Trying to “train” a child the way people trained animals in the olden days (by controlling them – showing them who has the upper hand with their loud voice or physical object) is disgusting. It shows how inadequate they are in caring for a child.
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When I saw this taking place, I felt sad that Grayson had no choice but to see it and hear it. It was right there in his face. She wanted everyone to see and hear her. I couldn’t help but think I better not ever see anyone treating Grayson that way. I’m not one of those parents that tell the person caring for their child to “do whatever they need to do to make him behave”. BULLSHIT. If you agree to care for my child, you are going to do it right – the way Ray and I do. If there’s any doubt you can’t or won’t do that, you will not care for my child. If I found out that was taking place, that person would NEVER be alone with my child again. PERIOD.
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When Grayson and I got back to the car, I got him out of his stroller and hugged him. I told him I’d never treat him like that. It might not always work (just as it doesn’t always work when I give an adult my opinion and theirs differs), but I always plan to communicate with Grayson. He is my equal. I don’t “own” him or have a desire to make him my robot. I don't ever want him to feel I am not treating him with respect. He might be my son and 28 years younger than me, but he is a person that deserves to be listened to and talked to with respect.
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More than likely, the end will come much sooner for that grandmother than her grandson. I hope she finds a way to forgive herself. If not, there is a good chance she will spend her final days feeling very regretful. OR maybe she is so callous that she won’t. Her fate is yet to be determined. An even greater concern for me is the little boy. It is so sad when someone who supposedly loves you causes you permanent internal scarring. Although he won’t be able to erase today from his memory, I hope he finds a way to heal from this horrible experience. What’s really sad is that often times when children are treated that way, they grow up and treat their children that way – simply because they don’t know better. It is common for abuse to run in families. I hope the cycle is broken by him. The only way that can happen is if someone tells him it is wrong. He might think it is wrong now, but he doesn’t have the courage to truly believe it.
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As it was happening and possibly at this very moment, that little boy is confused. I truly hate that. So many, particularly the media, try to convince the world it is the young people that are destroying us, our ways of living, the planet, etc. Children are not the problem. They are the answer. It is the adults who set a bad example and fail at guiding their children correctly. As the saying goes, “the children are our future”. But ya know, it is hard for them to turn the world around and make it a better place when their elders are working against them. They might have more years on this Earth (what they call “life experience”), but really, what good have they learned? And are they passing it on to the next generation? Maybe they should think of this and make some changes, rather than talking about how good things used to be, bitching about current conditions, and talking about the hell we are headed towards.
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